Honestly, I Don’t Care if Jameela Jamil is Queer

Why did Jameela think coming out as queer would allow her to avoid criticism?

7 min readFeb 20, 2020

In the spring of 2015, my university put on the much-anticipated Queer Ball. For LQBTQ folks, it was one of the best events of the year: a place and time where the party was strictly for, about, and because of the gays. I was still wedged in the closet at the time, so I kept up with it avidly from afar.

There would be no assumed heterosexuality. Men could come onto men without fear. Women could come onto women without being fetishized. Anyone could kiss whomever they wanted. It was planned to be a safe, fun, joyous celebration of everything LGBTQ.

Almost immediately, it sold out. At first, this fact was celebrated. Such a popular event must support and help the LGBTQ community, no? Surely its popularity would only make next year bigger and better.

Then people started speaking up. One by one, LGBTQ individuals announced they hadn't got tickets. And the organizers of the event realized that, by and large, people who identified as straight and cisgender had somehow got most of the tickets.

And then there was a backlash.

It transpired that a group of popular girls had bulk-purchased tickets. I was actually in the room when it was being discussed, listening to these women anticipating the amount of glitter they’d wear, the dresses they’d buy, the fun LQBTQ-themed food and drinks they’d consume.

They weren’t going to celebrate queer culture. They were going to be spectators. Voyeurs. Consumers. These same women who groped gay men, because they could. The same women who wanted gay best friends, because who else would help them with their shopping. The same women who were offended and disgusted when other women tried to flirt with them.

They were not there to be allies. They were there to be tourists. Once again, LGBTQ folks were a backdrop to their straight lives.