Why Your Brain Doesn’t Let You Believe the Compliments You Receive
Sometimes it’s hard to accept the good about yourself.
I have a real issue. When people say nice things about me, I don’t believe them.
It doesn’t matter if it’s about how I look, a recent accomplishment, an idea I had, or even just on cookies I baked. When people compliment me, I think they’re lying or trying to manipulate me somehow, or that they mean well but don’t recognize that what I’ve done is actually not that good.
When someone says to me, “Wow, your dress looks amazing today!” I deflect. I’ll say, “Oh thanks — I don’t know, I guess I like it. It’s easy to be active in it, which is the most important thing!
Cue the classic: “Thanks, it has pockets!”
My brain will dwell instead on the time someone told me my dress sense was terrible.
This might sound familiar to some of you — the ability to overlook fifty positive comments in favor of the one negative one that someone said to you, once, ten years ago.
It’s so easy to believe in, linger on, eternally reflect on the negative even when it’s overwhelmingly outweighed by the positive. Why does that happen? Why do so many of us struggle to believe good things about ourselves?
